8 replies to this topic

[SAINT]

wife calls husband saying you know its our anniversary. husband says yes i got something special for you.. so they hang up and the husband goes down to the tattoo parlor. gets a tattoo that says "i love you" on his cock..so he goes home shows his wife.. his wife looks at him puts one hand on her hip giving him a rude look and says 1st you make me clean the house do the dishes wash your clothes and now you want to put words in my mouth

[iNFAMOUS]

[iNFAMOUS]

ooo so that's my anniversary present then ! sounds about right for you Infamous

[iNFAMOUS]

The newlyweds are in their             honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she             stands right from the start of the marriage.

            

He proceeds to take off his             trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

            

The bride replies, "I can't             wear your trousers."

            

He replies, "And don't             forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

            

The bride takes off her knickers             and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those             on!"

            

He replies,"I can't get into             your knickers!"

            

"And you never bloody will             if you don't change your attitude."

[iNFAMOUS]

A husband comes home to find his wife with her             suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you             think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You             can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as             well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes             upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.             "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm             coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a             year!!!"

[SAINT]

[iNFAMOUS]

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

[iNFAMOUS]

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

[iNFAMOUS]

A couple were having trouble picking outfits for Halloween.After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room.15 minutes later she came back naked except for a lemon between her legs.The husband looked at her and then stormed out of the room.Then he came back with a potato around his dick.The wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied "If your going as a sour-puss, I'm going as a dictator".